This Party Just Took a Turn for the Douche….

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For the douche, for the douche.  For the motherf….  If you wanna hear more Google Garfunkel and Oates 😉

I think it’s pretty common knowledge that kids, especially small kids, very often favor every day objects over actual toys.  Oftentimes they’d rather play with the box than with the contents of the box.  Kids are strange like that but I have come to accept this quirkiness in my child.  However, the following I was not prepared for.

The Monkey LOVES to open cabinets and mess around with the contents.  One day he was in the master bathroom and opened my cabinet, the one under the sink.  He started rummaging around and out he came with a box.  Said box contained a douche that I bought who knows how long ago.  Yup, that’s right, the feminine hygiene kind.  At first he’d carry it around in the box, then he opened the box and carried it around in the plastic wrapping.  Somehow he undid the wrapping and now he just carries it around by the squeezy part.

He loves this thing and screams if you take it from him.  Luckily the seal is still intact or he would have gotten a mouthful already because he also LOVES to suck on the nozzle.  This is all pretty hilarious to watch.  It was kinda gross at first but then I figured, hey, the thing is brand new so what the heck.  If it makes him happy….

So yes, kids, or at least my kid, will even find douches ridiculously interesting and fun.  Who would have thunk it!

He was VERY cranky yesterday so I took him to my car (an SUV) and let him play in the trunk.  He was wearing an 18 Month romper that is REALLY big on him, the crotch is at his knees.  Matt called it “his hip-pop clothes”.  He was barefoot and holding his douche.  I started playing the Garfunkel and Oates song I quoted above and he started shaking his booty!  It was very amusing to watch him shake his butt in his hip-pop clothes and holding his douche.  He is going to hate me for the pictures in a few years.  That’s my job though, to take enough embarrassing pictures of him now so I can blackmail him when he’s a teenager.

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