Inquiring Minds Want To Know

posted in: Life | 4

Since I got the tummy tuck pretty much every one wants to know if I plan on having more kids.  I guess people figure that since we have only one we’ll still have more which makes the tummy tuck now a pretty dumb decision.  Even my usual sales assistant at Joann’s (yes, I go there that often) asked me if I was going to have more children and upon hearing my answer she proceeded to lecture me.   Part of me thinks this isn’t anyone’s business but then again, I suppose I would be curious to know as well if I was in their shoes.  Well, let me put you all out of your misery once and for all.

The answer to that question is a big, fat NO.  Not only no but not a chance in hell; no way no how; not now, not ever.  Capisci?  We are one and done.  To be fair, “I” am one and done.  My husband would love to have another kid (he must be a glutton for punishment) but that’s not going to happen.  We are OK with one however.  I am baffled by people’s reaction when I tell them we are done with one child.  I get all sorts of horrified looks and all kinds of crazy comebacks.  My “favorite” is “You HAVE to have another child!  What if this one dies???”  My reaction used to be disbelief and it showed in my face…..  WTF??? However, I’ve gotten this line SOOO many times that now I sorta expect it.  Now, that is just one screwed up thing to say.  It’s not so much about my child dying but about the infuriating implication that having a second child will somehow undermine the pain of losing this one; that it will somehow make it less devastating .  What those people are basically saying is that I need a back up.  Having a back up is a terrible reason for having a child.  I wish people really gave this some thought before they opened their pie holes.

My next “favorite” line goes something like this “You can’t leave him an only child!  He needs a sibling.  You HAVE to give him a sibling!”  This translates into “You need to gift your child a sibling even if you don’t want more kids”.  First of all, the idea of “gifting” my kid a sibling is repulsive and a horrible reason to have another kid.  Children should come into this world because they are wanted for themselves, not as a present to their siblings.  Besides, only “childs” are not the Antichrist, they are not outcasts or rejects and being an only child is not a horrible condition one has to avoid.  Most only children, just like most children with siblings, grow up to be normal, functional adults. 

There are many reasons why I don’t have any more children and I really won’t go into them beacuse I feel THAT part is really no one’s business but our own.  If it ever occurred to you to ask me this, there’s your answer.   It IS OK to have just one child people!

4 Responses

  1. cocojack10

    Good Lord I can’t believe anyone would say “how about this one dies?!” CRAZY response. It is a personal decision to have children in the first place, and as long as you and your DH have come to the SAME decision, then that is all that matters. F everyone else! : )

  2. Jen and Pete

    I get you’re not going to try for a boy?????? As if having girls isn’t good enough. Sorry, my husband is not Henry the 8th (though Henry is hooooot…and henry cavill… and yumm. I need to go watch the last few episodes of season 3 now lol)

  3. Melaniejh1016

    WOW! i can’t believe people say “what if that one dies?”! that is horrifying!! I also only want 1 and I mostly get the “you need to give her a sibling” answer… but I agree with you, giving her a sibling is not a good enough reason to have another child.

  4. Levanah

    Hello! I found this blog via your super-cute green dress post to burdastyle. Interestingly enough, I’ve been admiring the many incarnations of the Coffee Date Dress, but I doubt it will work with my large bust. So I was curious when you mentioned your new shape. I read a few other posts and I wound up here.

    It’s great that you’re sharing your transformation! Good for you for doing what you need to make yourself happy.

    As for those people who think it’s okay to tell you what’s best for you and your family, maybe this article at Scientific American will help you have perspective when you need patience.

    The Reproductive Revolution: How Women Are Changing the Planet’s Future

    I have [so far] chosen to have no kids at all, and I just can’t believe people also bug women who only want one child!

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