Day 4. What are you afraid of?
There are not many tangible things that frighten me, what I’m afraid of is mostly non-tangible things. For example, I’m scared of living an unfulfilled life. I’m terrified of lying in my death bed knowing that I let life pass me by, that I didn’t travel to far and wide places, that I didn’t find my calling (whatever that may be), that I was only mediocre. I’m not sure where this fear comes from and I don’t know if it’s a common fear but it is always in the back of my mind. I think it is this same fear that leads me to be the chance-taker that I am, that leads me to live in the moment. I guess I’m just like any other person, I want to be successful, I want to love passionately and be loved passionately, I want to raise a good, productive son who makes me proud to be his mother, I want to be happy, I want an exciting life, and I’m afraid that I might never achieve that.
As for tangible things, I have a serious phobia of amphibians. I rarely tell people because people think it’s cool to taunt others with the things they are afraid of, but it’s not. I have honest to goodness panic attacks when I see an amphibian of any kind. If it’s only on TV or in a picture, I my heart skips a beat, and not in a good way. It’s a serious problem and one of the very few fears that rule my life. When I lived in areas that were ridden with frogs, I’d never go out at night because I’d have to walk through them. It’s really terrible, and stupid. I know it’s stupid, but if it was rational it wouldn’t be a phobia.
So there, those are the things that frighten me.