I post the following at the risk of being called a wagon-jumper but I guess jump on the wagon is what I’m about to do. Mind you, this is not something that just occurred to me, it just hadn’t occured to me to blog about it because it’s a personal issue. We all have our demons.
I subscribe to Trena’s feed and I read her latest post a little while ago. You can check it out here . In her post she talks about her decision to simply look, and feel, cute every day or as close to every day as possible. That got me thinking (a miracle, I know!). Do I feel cute every day? No, I don’t. Would I love to feel cute every day? You better believe it!
I have always been a jeans and tshirt kinda girl. It’s not that I don’t like to dress cute, I do, it’s just that I absolutely hate my body (something Trena talks about) and nothing looks good on me. To complicate matters, I have a disproportionaly large tummy and I have been between fat and obese all of my adult life. When you combine all those factors, finding cute clothes that fit is not easy. What do people in my situation do? We resort to jeans and oversized tshirts. I would not be caught dead in anything fitted. Now, I see PLENTY of large girls out there that look amazing and I always wonder “How do they do it?” I haven’t figured it out and I probably never will but I take my hat off to them anyway.
In the past 3 months or so I have lost just over 20 pounds and I am finding easier and easier to find clothes that look cute and look good. Shopping for clothes is getting marginally easier. I don’t’ want to look frumpy but I do want to wear clothes that are not only age appropriate but also appropriate for my body shape. I have started to MAKE AN EFFORT to look cute every now and again because it makes me feel good. Case in points, a couple of weekends ago my husband and I decided to go out to lunch. We were only going to Longhorn and I would have normally just thrown whatever on but I thought I’d were something pretty. I also put on make up (which I rarely do) and then we left. I felt pretty, put together and definitely not frumpy. I was not looking for compliments but I definitely got them. They were the cherry on top. I had a revelation that day. When I wear jeans and tshirts no one even looks at me twice but when I were cute clothes and FEEL cute, I get compliements. Maybe I should dress like that every day? Yes, I should but I don’t.
What am I waiting for? Well, for starters, I am waiting until I have reached my goal weight and I’m nearly halfway there. I don’t think it makes sense for me to spend so much time (or money) on clothes that will only fit for a brief period of time. Some may think that’s a lame excuse but I think it’s a valid one. I am also waiting until I am no longer disgusted but what I see when I look in the mirror. Because *I* need to feel cute in the clothes I wear to project that, I need to like what I see in the mirror. Right now, I don’t. Maybe I just haven’t found the right clothes or maybe I just need a new body. I am working on both.
If you’ve read this far, you’re a star! I’m not even sure what the point of this post is, I just felt I needed to say something. The bottom line is, I do want to look cute and I’m on my way but I have demons, we all have demons, and most times they just get the better of me.